• Amber Le

Let's Talk 'Emotionally Immature'

Let's get personal... really fuckin' personal. I've debated on sharing these stories publicly for such a long time, several times because when I was going through it, it honestly was Hell. I had to remind myself that my transparency is my strength and my vulnerability can help another woman. I've always revolved my content around being relatable to others no matter what people may say. I made a vow that I would be more intimate with my audience as I share "horror stories" of what I've tolerated in the past and what I refuse to tolerate now. There's no name dropping on this side, nor will there be any bashing. That's not what we're here for, we are here to heal from our scars, grow from our past and glow so beautifully as we live our best lives. It's been so long since I've opened up like this, my heart just wasn't in it but these past couple weeks awakened a different beast within me. So let's share our stories. As women, we go through so much and we are not alone.

As I enter Chapter 31 of my life which started not too long ago, I took a moment to look back at how far I've came and what I've had to overcome. Majority of it had to do with not loving myself enough. We've all struggled with this heavily in our 20's and thank God it gets better. As you get older, loving yourself and setting boundaries becomes second nature. Of course there's still a little bit of doubt here and there but it's normal, we are human. The more you take care of yourself and pour into you, the more you learn what you will and won't tolerate. For me, I am never dating an emotionally immature person. I say emotionally immature because I really do feel that after a certain age, you can't just blame things on "that's just how I am." Do people not believe in growth? Do people not believe in evolving? Better yet, do people not believe in becoming a better person? Not only for themselves but for everyone else around them. Refusing to learn your emotions and communicating them in an effective manner is such a turn off for me. Like what do you mean you don't know how to give compliments? You ain't gonna show who off (lol)? It's hard to call your girlfriend pretty or acknowledge the way she looks. I would do my makeup and get dolled up for dinner and he wouldn't even sweat me for 20 seconds. Lemme just say this. Ladies, stop dating these insecure people because at the end of the day, they're only going to project onto you and try to humble you. They are going to gaslight tf out of you. They're going to flip it on you. It's called emotional manipulation. What's crazy is you're going to feel like you're in the wrong for wanting to feel wanted in your own damn relationship. And then you get to comparing yourself to other women with boob jobs, fake asses and all that other shit. Looking back at it now, I'm really laughing because what a pathetic thing to do. How did I allow a man to fuck with my confidence? Nah, not over here. Homie gotta go.

If I have to question my worth, if I get out of character... it's time for us to part ways. How does a person who claims he/she loves you or cares for you have you doubting what you mean to him/her or worse, how much you value yourself. I've been there so many times and I'm never going back there again. It's not supposed to be a competition, it's supposed to be building a foundation. Mofos forget that y'all are on the same team because their ego won't allow them to see passed their insecurities. Just please remember it's got nothing to do with us, I hate when women start asking "where I went wrong" or "what else could I have done to make it work?" We have to stop doing that to ourselves and we have to love ourselves so fuckin much that other's validation is just extra because that's truly all it is - EXTRA. God didn't make such beautiful creations for others to validate. Tuhh. Just keep in mind, we also have to take accountability for choosing the same characteristics over and over. That's why spending time by yourself is such an amazing thing because you begin to self reflect and see where you could have drawn the line sooner, would have saved you a shitload of pain. And sometimes, you never realize how dirty someone really did you until you begin telling someone about it.

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